she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
