it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
