when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize