hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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