my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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