would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
