this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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