did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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