k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
