Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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