Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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