yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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