Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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