They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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