First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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