if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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