She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
