i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
