Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
