i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
