I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I smell like Dick and happiness
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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