happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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