me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
