Quick, to the slutcave!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
