$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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