Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
