so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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