I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
