I need to stop coming to work sober
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
