One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
