Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
