you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
