Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she peed on how many people?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
