The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
