i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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