We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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