you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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