8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
