you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
