My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
