these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
