I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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