About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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