Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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