And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
