Fuck appropriateness.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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