big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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