I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
