I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize