apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
