I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
