i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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