Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
