It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Enjoy the penises
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
