Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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