I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
