Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have fence marks all over my body
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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