just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
