I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
