Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
