i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
