STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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