I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
